found this amusing

Paddy and Murphy are walking home after a night on the beer. They've got no money to get a taxi, and are staggering all over the place when they find themselves outside a bus depot.

Paddy has a brainwave and says to Murphy, "Get in there and steal a bus so
we can drive home, and I'll stay out here and look out for the police."

Murphy duly breaks into the depot and is gone for twenty minutes, while Paddy is wondering what the hell he is doing.

Eventually Paddy sticks his head around the door, and sees Murphy running
from bus to bus looking very worried. "What in all hell are you doing Murphy?
Get a move on!"

Murphy replies, "I can't find a number 7 anywhere Paddy,"

Paddy, holding his hands to his head in disbelief, shouts, "You idiot Murphy!
Steal a number 9 and we'll get off at the roundabout and walk the rest of
the way!"

;D

paddys walkin down the road when he spies a sandwich in the floor. feeling skint yet peckish he decides to take a closer look only to find it has 2 wires poking out of it. slightly worried by this he rings the bomb disposal unit just in case. he explains what it looks like etc, when the chap on the end of the line says "is it tickin" paddy replies "no, i think its corned beef" .................

ahh, classic paddy and murphy - cant beat em ;D