Rules

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules:-

1. Breasts are for looking at, that is why we do it. Don't try to change that.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Saturday = sports and time with the lads. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just ASK!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say at half time or during the commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Lilac is a flower. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If it needs adjusting in public, people will understand.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying so why say it. If we can avoid hassle we will.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes and more than enough matching handbags

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
settee tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!


pablo