5 minute management course

>> 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE
>> Lesson 1:
>> A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing
up
> her
>> shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself
>> in
> a
>> towel
>> and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the
>> next-door neighbor.
>>
>> Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop

>> that
>> towel"
>>
>> After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands
>> naked
>> in front of Bob After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and
leaves.
>>
>> The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When
> she
>> gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
>>
>> "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
>>
>>
>> "Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800
he
>> owes me?"
>>
>> Moral of the story :
>>
>> If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk

>> with
>> your
>> shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
>> avoidable exposure.
>> ******************
>> Lesson 2:
>> A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs,
>> forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
> accident.
>> After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her
leg
>>
>> The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed
his
>> hand.
>> But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
>>
>> The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
>>
>> The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak"
>>
>> Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her

>> way.
>>
>> On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up
Psalm
>> 129
>>
>> It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
>>
>> Moral of the story:
>>
>> If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a
great
>> opportunity.
>> *****************************
>> Lesson 3:
>> A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are
walking
>> to
>> lunch
>> when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
comes
>> out.
>> The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
>> "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in
the
>> Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."
>>
>> Puff! She's gone.
>>
>> "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii,
>> relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply
> of
>> Pina
>> Coladas and the love of my life."
>>
>> Puff! He's gone.
>>
>> "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
>>
>> The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after
>> lunch."
>>
>> Moral of the story:
>>
>> Always let your boss have the first say.
>> *****************************
>> Lesson 4
>> An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small
> rabbit
>> saw
>> the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do
>> nothing?"
>>
>> The eagle answered: "Sure , why not."
>>
>> So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.
All of
> a
>> sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
>>
>> Moral of the story:
>>
>> To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,
very
> high
>> up.
>> ******************************
>> Lesson 5:
>>
>> A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to
get
> to
>> the
>> top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
>> energy."
>>
>> "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the
>> bull.
>> They're packed with nutrients."
>> The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave
him
>> enough
>> strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
>> after
>> eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally
after
> a
>> fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the
tree
>> >>>
>> He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.
>>
>> Moral of the story:
>>
>> BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you
there.
>> ***********
>> Lesson 6:
>> A little bird was flying south for the Winter. It was so cold
the
>> bird
>> froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was
lying
>> there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
>>
>> As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began
to
>> realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him
out!
>> He
>> lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
>>
>> A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
>> Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of
> cow
>> dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
>>
>> Morals of the story:
>>
>> (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
>>
>> (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
>>
>> (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth
>> shut!
>>
>> THIS ENDS THE 5-MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

hahahaaahaaa

i like that one lol

i thought it was good, amazing what people send you at work

ive just sent it to my boss

nice one dude, i am sure he will find it amusing

Quality and so true.

it is very true sir